Waiting to win the lottery.

As I gathered my thoughts for this blog, it occurred to me that I’m overwhelmed. This seems to be the active state for me most of the time for most of my life.

However, I realized this sense of overwhelm is different than it’s been in my past. I would say it’s coupled with a dose of impatience. What would you do if you knew you’d win the lottery, but you had to wait a whole year to buy the winning ticket? You might face moments of frustration and anxiety and might wish that time could pass more quickly or that you didn’t have to wait so long.

I’m having those moments of frustration, and I’m experiencing a great deal of inner turmoil. I’m in somewhat of a transitional phase of my career. For the past 33 years it feels like I’ve been living everyone else’s dreams (with the exception of my hubby, he’s amazing.. and that dreamboat is all mine, baby!)

After high school I went to college to get a degree so I could get a sensible job and have a sensible life… after some soul searching I think perhaps I made that decision to appease my parents. I would much rather have skipped the books (at least in my 20s) and gone full steam ahead to pursue my entertainment career. Not that I would have been uber famous, but ultimately, that was my passion.

That decision of backing away from my dreams to go to college was the beginning of many derailments I would have over the decade.

After college I got a 9-5 gig, worked in corporate America for several years, then through my heart and soul into building a dream for my best friend.

So the lesson in all this? I would do it all over again. I wouldn’t change a thing. I have to clear my heart of resentment and shame and embrace and recognise the blessings I’ve had so far. I am so proud of my friend and the business we built together. And I do believe each turn I’ve made on this journey has brought me to this unique moment.

That moment is now. I have arrived. No more living how I think others want me to live. I’m going for it. I’m doing this! Game on! Freedom is calling, and, whew, it’s overwhelming!

What is the dream on your heart? It’s not too late. You can change that story you tell yourself everyday. Each experience and interaction you’ve had has lead you to this turning point. Go on, take the road less traveled, and share some love with your fellow passengers along the way.

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